megansayyys

soo hmmm yeahhhhh!

Mon, 15 Oct 2007 02:50:32 GMT

jurassic park is onnnnnnn!
yay raptahhhhs! hahahhaha.
woooooow. i'm getting tired.
tomorrow i'm going to a funeral.
for catherine crocker. i didn't know her.
but i still think it'd be nice to go.
say a little prayer.
*sigh* talking to like 573489 people right now.
ahahaha. and yeah i wanna be at DANNYS HOUSE!
=[ bahhhhhhhh i miss himmm<3

hey guess what!

Mon, 30 Jul 2007 06:44:09 GMT

it's freaking 2:42 AM! in the mornin! which you didn't know. but i'm on the phone with dannyyyy! and he's amazin and makes me happier then anyone EVER has before. and he's the cutest boy ever. like no lie. so there. okay. going to bed soooooon. BYE!

forgot.

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 22:38:07 GMT

to say that if you wanna know if i'm pissed off or not, ask danny. cause apparently he chooses whether i am or not. okay bye. =D.

danielle told me to!

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 18:33:49 GMT

so i'm writing in my livejournal!

woot! okay now i don't know what

to say cause i usually write in here

when i have somethig exciting

going on or if i'm just writing about

danny =D. k i'll write about him!

he's amazing and funny and

loveable and so adorable and cute

and no one can even live up to

him because he's the best ever

and he is the sweetest guy and i

lovelovelove him! *phew* okay. so

yeah basically he's better than you

=D. and danielle's pretty cool too

cause she stopped by in walmart

yesterday and visited me! with her

boyfriend and they made me

laugh. so yeah that's pretty

exciting! and i love how i'm going

on talking about absolutly nothing

at all! that's what i do best. okay i'll

go now byeeeeeee!

HAPPY DANIELLE?!

WOOT! =D.

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 03:49:23 GMT

so yeah it's 11:45PM and i'm freaking tired! and i think i should go to bed soon cause i feel like i'm gonna pass out. ANYWAY! everything's been amazinggggggg! except for school which i'm not gonna worry about cause it's vacaaaa! WOOT! so yeah. hopefullyi 'm goin to six flagssss on friday. i hope we do. cause that place is amazingggg! and i want season passes. i'm talking to audra. HI AUDRA IF YOU'RE READING THIS! you and josh are adorable =D i love you guys! and you 2 and me and danny are amazing couple double dating people persons who love each other and are amazing together and we're all best friends. wow i am a complete losaaaaaaa! haha i drag out my words alotttt. oh well it's funnnn! okay i'm done. i ryhmed! wow. kgoingtobedgoodnight!

=D! <3

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 02:57:53 GMT

me and danny are the most amazing couple ever! =D <3. and we kiss like 4594946345239403856 x a day.

hehe =D.

Wed, 04 Apr 2007 03:01:15 GMT

yeah so sunday night was probably the best thing ever. danny picked me up from work and we went back to his new house. it's cuteeeee. haha anyway. we watched saving private ryan. and we just cuddled together n stuff. and i felt SO loved. i felt happy for once. and him kissing me on the cheek was uh-mazingggg. =D. so yeah, i love my life. and everything is better now. so yeah =D haha okay peaceeeeeee!

so, yeah.

Sun, 01 Apr 2007 00:02:17 GMT

okay so this is probably gonna be the most important entry, because it's about how i made my decision on what i want with my life. i'd love to say that the past, what, month? hasn't been the funnest thing. it's probably the worst thing EVER. i haven't eaten, hardly slept, i'm falling asleep in school, and can't think right. my friends were right, some days i DID try to run away from it, cause then i'd rather be happy then think about the situation, cause everytime i did i was eating which made me wanna throw up. it made me so sick to my stomach. i'd cry myself to sleep almost everynight asking God to help me. asking to point me which way to go. all i needed was to feel like someone was there for me. because dan couldn't talk to me, and when i talked to dj we jsut fought and got sad, and i felt ganged up on by my friends. i felt pushed into making a decision so fast, felt like i was being asked too many questions. and all of them say i shouldn't leave dj, that it'd be ridiculous. but what about what i want? i ALWAYS, ALWAYS put everyone else's feelings before mine. like, there is never a time where i don't. cause i want THEM to be happy. but what about megan. nope. she doesn't have feelings. *sigh* i've felt pressured and yelled at for days. tried talking and when i did i got agrivated then my friends wouldn't talk to me. i felt SO alone. i really felt like no one was there. except God. which was basically my everything at the time. i could sit there and pray all day if i wanted to cause i know he'd listen. my best friend couldn't talk to me, my boyfriend argued with me, and my friends tried to help but it didn't work. then last night me heather dj carlos and josh slept over dan's and audra's house. and i was SO excited friday because i wanted to make that friday the best one i'd ever have. i got to go to school late, and basically relaxed the rest of the school day. then i came home and took a shower and got pumped cause we were all gonna go to the movies. except when i found out danny was crying and i helped him feel better. he said he hated all this and it was killing him. i feel the same. then later on i had to clean my turtle tank out or i'd get in big trouble, and dj said that's what him and audra were talking about when they said hurry up cause now me and him couldn't have alone time. then i said frustrated cause i felt rushed. and he was crying when i came back up cause he read my and danny's convo, which was wrong, and i thought he shoulda asked my permission FIRST. i knew it was gonna happen, i knew he was gonna read it, but i forgot to shut pff aim cause i was mad. then dj talked, yelled, to / whatever at me. and i felt like the biggest loser on the face of the earth. which brought down my night. then we got in the car and danny said he wasn't gonna hangout with us that night. so i was like okay i needa talk to him. then me audra and carlos talked when we went to the mall and we were all mad, then me and dj got into a fight, then dj and carlos had an argument. i seriously wanted to punch the car window, i couldn't take it anymore. so then i said i wanted to go to audra's cause i wanted to talk to danny. and we did talk. there was a couple silences, only cause we were thinking about the same thing was, this sucks majorly. we hugged a few times and, just, sat there. cause we had no idea what to say other than we were thinking about what was going on. then carlos came in and mentioned a group meeting when they got back from getting heather. so i was like, yeah, idk what to say. and all of them said that i had to do what's right for ME. not ANYONE else. it just seemed weird cause i never do that. i think of others before me. and it really got me thinking on the drive to work this morning. i think i want a change. i don't wanna feel tied down. i don't wanna hurt anyone anymore. i'm sick of pain. today at work, i started getting a cough and everything. know what that's from? NOT EATING. i haven't eaten ALL day. except 2 very small bags of chips. and a hot pocket when i got home. i'm surprised i could even eat that. i'm sick of knowing everyone's basically waiting on me, i keep hurting people, i jeep people waiting, i keep screwing up cause i try to run away from this. and honestly, danny makes me feel good about myself. i'm not hiding this. i'm gonna say what i want, even if it hurts people, because they need to know how I feel. he makes me smile and laugh. and he's a great person. he's cute and funny. "think before you act". well i did, and i decided to write that. but i thought about it, and this time i'm doing what i think is best. i might regret it, i might not. but i can't keep sitting here. i can't keep doing this.

hollahhhh.

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 01:07:26 GMT

yeah so i had a pretty good day today i guess. school was surprisingly good. got to watch 2 movies and went outside for a double block so it wasn't a very hard day. and it was my first day of work! it wasn't too bad. first half of my shift had to do computer training (CBL's). had to read SO much and take quizzes on it. then i went on my 15 min break and had an amp. haha after that i was shaking a lot and couldn't sit still hahaha. then i got out @ 8 and called my house for a ride, and no answer. so i ran over to shaws to say hi to my friend josh and my friend billy drove me there haha it was like 30 feet. and i jumped outta his car while he started to pull away ahhaha! i was so hyper. then i saw my friend joe and josh and talked to them and couldn't stop laughing cause of that drink. o man good stuff. then joe drove me and and i played DDR. cause it's amazingggg =D. and yeah i'm home now and waiting for my friends to get online. cayse they're all out =[. WHATEVERRRRRR! k i'm out peaceeee.

Oh yeahhhh. i wrote something today.

This all seems foggy, but yet so clear
i don't know where the hell i should go from here
searching for answers, i'm thinking deep
i don't know what to leave or what i should keep
please give me strength, comfort, and hope
only you can keep me holding onto this rope
don't let me fall down. keep me up and strong
i'm sick of this pain that i've felt for so long
it's time for me to pray, and stand up tall
cause i never wanted any of this, any of it at all.

I'm happy today.

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 01:56:17 GMT

So yeah today was a really good day for me. Stayed home from school cause i didn't get any sleep last night so i just slept haha. Then i cleaned cause i had to, blah. I looked at the time and realized i had 5 mins to get to school for drivers ed so i ran out the door. Made me sad though, all the movie we watch in there do. And it made me think of all my friends, and family, and how if anything ever happened to them like it did in the movie, i don't know what the hell i'd do. I'd seriously just, i don't know. I don't even wanna think about it. Anyway, came home and talked to audra, tryin to cheer her up. Boy troubleee lol. But it's all good now. And then i playedd DDR for like EVER. Haha. So yeah. Pretty good day. Getting tireddd so i'm out. peaceeeeee.

blah.

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 17:22:15 GMT

so yeah. talked to dj last night about a lot of what he said to Dan. and i couldn't help but feel like it was all my fault and just blamed myself for everything that was happening and cried so hard. i know i still have to make a desicion, and i don't wanna make the wrong one, or regret it, or anything like that. i just really don't know what to do or how to feel cause i'm still in a weird mood..

*sigh*

well that's all i have for right now cause nothing big is happening. gotta get ready for driver's ed. peaceeee.

sigh

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 07:21:08 GMT

yeah so me and dj were talking last night and he kept asking me what seemed like a lot of questions and it seemed like he was asking me to make a desicion on what to do about everything right then and there. so i got off. then i couldn't sleep so i called up audra to talk to her. then she had to leave to get some sleep. but i STILL couldn't. i didn't exactly wanna talk to dj right then so i called dan and we just talked. then my day was basically sleeping and daydreaming. then things were fine today. was talkin to beca and dan, just trying to keep stuff happy. then the night just turned around by dj having to have a talk with dan. im afraid and really anxious right now cause i don't know what they're talking about...and it's basically driving me insane. i'm talking to audra too. and heather. no one can do this anymore.

i can't eat. i can't sleep. i can't think. God, i need you now more than EVER...

yeahhh.

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 03:39:04 GMT

so here's my newer journal cause the other one has wikid old stuff in it , like 2 years ago. and tonight hasn't been so great. okay bye.